Frustrating Interviews
by Kittystar and Hades r besties
Summary: In the newest tv show, people are randomly chosen to be interviewed live. But, they are asked embarrassing questions and rumors! Laugh out loud and join the fun! There may be slight romance!
1. Effie

Chapter 1- Effie

**Welcome to yet another one of my funny concoctions! These interviews are just freak out the silly people in the capitol, and to make you laugh! Review please! **

Effie looked around at her surroundings. She was sitting in a mahogany chair in the middle of a dark grey room. The walls were bare and the lack of color and decoration made her fidget.

"Welcome to Frustrating Interviews!" A booming voice made her jump. "I'm your host, Lilac Bernese! Out guest for today is Effie Trinket!" Effie looked around wildly and spotted a camera. She was being filmed!

"Now, let's get on with the questions!" Lilac exclaimed. Somewhere, a sound of papers shuffling could be heard. Effie's heart pounded, but she remembered her manners.

"Effie, my first question for you is: Is it true that you would give up ANYTHING for manners?" The Capitol woman was outraged at the question.

"Why, that is not true! Who is spreading these ridi-" Effie was interrupted by Lilac as she went on with the next question.

"Do you like watching kids die in the Hunger Games?"

"Well, it's not like that. I just know that it is for their bene-"

"So you like their gory deaths and you enjoy it?"

"I-you see- manners!"

"I will take that as a yes. Now for the last question."

Effie Trincket looked wary. The last question obviously would be the most embarrassing.

"Do you have a crush on Haymitch?"

"What could EVER make you think that?" Effie spluttered, blushing. "I think nothing of that drunkard!"

"Well, that's all the time we have folks! Join us next time on Frustrating Interviews!"


	2. Cato

Chapter 2- Cato

**This story is one of my best Hunger Games stories I have written! I will totly keep writing this! Updates will be pretty quick! Sorry if Cato is a bit OOC.**

Cato fidgeted in his chair. It was a foldable metal one with crayon markings on it. He didn't show it on his face, but the career was nervous. He had no idea what was happening.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bermese. Our guest today is Cato!" Cato thought his heart would leap out of his chest. The booming voice had scared him. He fought to stay calm and put a neutral expression on his face.

"Our first question is: Why do you hate Katniss Everdeen's guts?" Lilac asked cheerily, which was creepy sonce she was asking the type of question that included 'hate' issues.

"Uhh-well-" Cato stammered.

"Interesting, interesting."

"No, wait!"

"Don't worry. Next question is now!"

"But-"

"Do you want to marry Clove?"

"What?" Cato was dumbstruck by the question.

"I said, 'DO YOU WANT TO MARRY CLOVE?" Lilac shouted.

"..."

"Okay. Final question! If you could, would you kill President Snow, Buttercup, or Marvel?"

"Who is Buttercup?" Cato asked, flustered.

"A cat." Lilac sighed, annoyed by the question.

"Oh. Um, I guess Marvel."

"Well, that's all the time we have folks! See you next time on Frustrating Interviews!"


	3. Octavia

Chapter 3- Octavia

**Three updates in one go? Ca-ra-zee! Hehehe. Anyway, I am having fun writing these. Uh, ahem. Don't forget to review! *Looks at review box for no apparent reason***

Octavia ignored the dull grey room she was in. She was bored that she was in there and hoped that she would be let out soon. She didn't want to be late for her skin therapy and eyelash feathering.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bermese. Our guest today is Octavia!" Lilac's voice boomed over the speakers. Octavia nearly fell out of her chair in surprise. Quickly, she straightened herself and looked around for the noise.

"Now, let's get on with the first question: Do you have a special love for pink?"

"Huh?" The stylist asked, bewildered.

"Really? Amazing! Do you have a fear of starvation?"

"Y-y-y-y-y-yes." Octavia's knees shook with fear and her voice was barely a whisper.

"Ahhh, I see. Who do you like? Flavius?"

Octavia blushed at the comment. "No. Not at all!" She blushed again and looked at her feet with intense interest.

"Now for the final question! Do you want a rebellion?"

"Umm..." The stylist tapped her chin, unsure of what to say.

"Well, that's all the time we have!" Lilac inturrupted. "See you next time on Frustrated Interviews!"


	4. Haymitch

Chapter 4- Haymitch

**I had fun writing this one. Especially since Haymitch was drunk! Now, laugh along with me and *Cough* Review! *Cough***

Haymitch didn't know where his drink went, but he did feel quite happy and groggy. He looked around, dazed.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bermese. Today our guest is Haymitch!" Haymitch looked up and giggled like a little child.

"Dofarblegurr..." He muttered lazily.

"Ok. My first question is: What is your favorite alcohol?"

"Well. I thinker gonna haveto lookat thebottle." He answered, slurring his words.

"Wow! Amazing!"

"Huh? Wha-?"

"Do you like anyone in particular?"

"YeahKatniss. She'sa greata fighter."

"No, I mean, _like _like."

"Uhno. Ithink Effie doesthough-" Then he passed out, because for the whole time, he had been drinking.

"Well, that is all the time we have today folks! See you next time on Frustrating Interviews!"


	5. Avox girl

Chapter 5- Avox girl

**Sorry if this chapter isn't TOO funny. I wanted to see what would happen with an Avox. Thank you Max Saturday burns toasters and Dilaner234 for your reviews!**

The Avox girl sat in a soft, plush couch that had a tiny stain, probably from coffee. She looked around at the grey walls. Was President Snow punishing her for the whoopee cushion that she had forgotten to remove from his seat?

"Welcome to yet another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bernese, and today our guest is and Avox girl!" The host's voice boomed out of a loudspeaker. The Avox jumped slightly but kept her calm. She was relieved that it was just a television show.

"So, my first question for today is: What is your name?"

"..."

"Wow, just amazing! Do you want to meet Katniss again?"

"..."

"Interesting... What would eat; Pizza, cake, or chocolate?"

"..."

"Great answer! Well, that's all the time we have today! See you next time on Frustrating Interviews!"


	6. Buttercup

Chapter 6- Buttercup

**Oh no, what will happen with Buttercup? This was asked for by Max Saturday burns toasters. Enjoy!**

Buttercup was in the middle of washing himself when he realized that he was on a different cat bed. He looked around and then went back to washing himself.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bernese, and our guest today is Buttercup!" Lilac's voice boomed. Buttercup didn't even look up.

"Now for my first question: Do you like Katniss?"

"Mew Meow Mewmew"

"Um, yes, ok. What is your favorite food?"

"Mrow mewmewmeow mew mewo mrow"

"I love that too! Do you like goats?"

"Mew"

"Of course! Is cheese a favorite food of yours?"

"Mrowmew meow mew"

"Really? Wow!"

"Meow Meowmeow"

"No, I am asking the questions!"

"Mrowmeowmew"

"Are the rumors true that you have a crush on Tigris?"

"MEOW MEOW MEW MROW HISSSSSSSS"

"Okay, okay. I see that is a sensitive topic for you."

"Meow"

"Yes you are right. That's all of the time we have today! See you next time on Frustrating Interviews!"


	7. Katniss

Chapter 7- Katniss

**Katniss is here! I think this might be a good one! Yay for me updating twice! Now, read on!**

Katniss was sitting on a plush pink chair. She looked around, her eyes narrowed. Where was Peeta? Where was her house?

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bermese, and today our guest is Katniss!" Katniss jumped slightly and looked around. She saw a camera and sighed. She hated interviews.

"My first question is: Why did you choose the bow and arrows as your weapon?"

"It wasn't a choice." Katniss growled. "I had to survive. I couldn't without the bow."

"Mhmm. Ok. Who do you like better; Peeta or Gale?"

Katniss pulled out her bow and arrows and shot at the camera, shattering the glass.

"What the heck? Katniss!? Someone get in here to replace the camera!"

Katniss sat back and smiled. After about a half hour delay, Lilac finally was able to ask more questions. "So, Katniss. Do you like President Snow, President Coin, or Cato better?"

"Hmm. I hate both presidents but I also hate Cato... I guess Cato better since he was being controlled by Snow and Coin killed my sister."

"Interesting. Is your sister the most important person in the world?"

Katniss pulled out three grenades and launched them at the camera. After that, she used her explosive arrows and shot them everywhere.

"AAAHHHH! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER! SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON FRUSTRATING INTERVIEWS!"


	8. Tracker Jacker

Chapter 8- A tracker jacker

**Thank you everyone for your reviews! It means so much for me! This was suggested by gkmoberg1. You can, if you want, send in suggestions for who you want to be interviewed! **

It took a moment for the tracker jacker to realize that it wasn't in the forest anymore. It buzzed and decided that whoever had taken it would pay by being stung.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bermese, and today our guest is a tracker jacker!" The tracker jacker buzzed angrily and had been startled.

"Now for my first question: How did you get here? In this room?"

"Bzzzzzzz"

"Of course, we took you here!"

"BZZZZZZZZZ"

"What do you mean, 'You are victoriou-YOW!" Somehow, the wasp-like creature had managed to get into the room that Lilac was in. In the background, you could hear her screaming and yelping in pain.

"WAIT HOLD ON- OUCH! THIS IS _MY _SHOW YOU BUG! OW!"

"BZZZZZZ"

* * *

In district 12...

Katniss stared at the screen. "Wow. Just, wow." She stated. Peeta was sitting with her and he chuckled.

"I guess that's what happens when you take a tracker jacker!"

* * *

"THAT IS ALL THE-OW- TIME WE HAVE SEE YOU-OW- NEXT TIME ON-OW-FRUSTRATING INTERVIEWS!"


	9. Finnick

Chapter 9- Finnick

**Yet again, I am updating. This was suggested by PrincessRue11. I love this story! R, R, and R! (Read, review, and request)**

Finnick sighed and leaned back in his chair made of kelp and seaweed. He was slightly excited since he was on his favorite television show, but he still didn't like that Lilac or whoever had designed the chair had exaggerated his love of water.

"Welcome to another episode of-oh whatever. Today our guest is Finnick!" Lilac's voice boomed. After she said that, she made a fangirl squeal. Finnick had been used to her voice while watching the show, so he wasn't scared.

"My first question for you is: WILL YOU MARRY ME?!"

"Uh, no. I am married already."_  
_

"WHY CRUEL WORLD?! WHY!? Is Haymitch a drunkard?"

"Why are you asking me tha-"

"I'M THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTIONS! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST LET ME DO MY JOB!"

"Ok."

"Do you have a fan club?"

"Not that I know of-"

"WHAT!? I AM STARTING ONE WHEN I FINISH THIS INTERVIEW!"

"Why are you-"

"THAT'S IT! I QUIT!" Murmuring could be heard in the background and then a deep voice was heard over the microphone.

"This has been the end of Finnick's interview. Please tune in for more episodes later." After that, more murmuring was heard.


	10. Ceasar

Chapter 10- Ceasar Flickerman

**This was suggested by my loyal reviewer gkmoberg1! Thank you everyone who reviewed. You are AWESOME. Sorry for not updating and I will stop being lazy and I shall update this story!**

Ceasar Flickerman sat frozen in his lucky chair. He was on tv on his least favorite show.

"Welcome to-" Lilac began

"NOOOOOO!" Ceasar shouted. He couldn't believe it. He was going to be INTERVIEWED! He was disgusted and threw his chair at the camera.

_**Crash**_

"Alert! The guest has gone rabid! Go into rabid mode!" One of the guards shouted. The held Ceasar down and tied him to a table. Lilac laghed at the sight and skipped the intro.

"All righty, my first question is: How are you liking this interview so far?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Next question:"

"OOOOOOOOOOO"

"Are the rumors"

"OOOOOOOOOOOO"

"True that"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"You like"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Dresses?"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-What!? NO! Of course not! No way!"

"So you do? Wow!" Lilac said, hardly containing her laughter.

"ARGH!"

"Don't you LOVE interviews?"

"NO! THE INTERVIEW IS OVER!" Ceasar Flickerman suddenly became a mutt and ate everyone.

THE END

Just kidding.

He turned into a mutt and everybody RAN AWAY!


	11. Romulus

Chapter 11- Romulus Thread

**Sorry for not updating! This was requested by somebody who begged and begged and begged for me to update this story.**

Romulus looked around. He was just about to whip someone when he realized that he was sitting in a BLOODSTAINED CHAIR!

"AAAAHHH!" The head peacekeeper screamed. "I HATE BLOOD THAT IS NOT OF MY VICTIMS!"

Lilac's voice boomed. She scared the lamb stew out of him when she did the intro too. "My first question is: Why in the world are you such a baby?"

"..." He was too busy whimpering.

"I am just so disappointed. Did you know I'm your mother?"

"Mommy?" He yelled. "You did this to me?" Laughter was heard and a muted voice could be heard.

"Mommy? Ha! What a baby!"

"WWWAAAAHHHH!"

Lilac sighed. "I cannot believe I raised a child like this. Send him back to hsi own world so that he could stop his blubbering!" SHe demanded.

"See you next time on Frustrating Interviews!" She yelled.


	12. Prim

Chapter 12- Prim

**This was suggested by a guest...I think...Sorry about not updating! I sorta forgot about the story. :O Enjoy and please don't-*Ducks from tomatoes being thrown at me***

Prim looked around. She had been reading a book and then suddenly she got transported to a room! What was wrong with her strangely weird life?

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac!" Lilac shouted. Prim squealed with joy. She was on her favorite TV show!

"Do you like goats?"

"Um, yes." Prim answered.

"Rumors say that you are obsessed with goats,"

"LIES, ALL LIES!"

"You like to scream,"

"_**NO I DON'T!"**_

"And you really hurt my eardrums."

"Sorry. You are just so evil!"

"Excuse me? You little half-pint! I am not evil!"

"STOP YELLING!" Prim yelled.

"YOU WILL DIE SOON YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Lilac countered.

* * *

In District 12...

Katniss sighed. "I thought this was supposed to be an interview..." She murmured. Gale and Peeta nodded in agreement.

* * *

"See you next time on Frustrating Interviews! And next time we won't have any brats on the show!"

"HEY!"


	13. Gale and Peeta

Chapter 13- Gale and Peeta

**Sorry for not updating. D: I will try to update faster! Anyways, gkmoberg suggested doing this. XD Great idea!**

Sitting in a love seat were Gale and Peeta. Both were feeling very uncomfortable. Gale felt slightly mad at Peeta and wanted to get off the chair, and Peeta just felt awkward. They would have ran away from each other, but the walls were so close to them that they could hardly breathe.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews!" Shouted Lilac. Peeta and Gale would've fallen over in shock, if it hadn't been for the walls. "My first question is for Gale: How do you feel since Peeta and Katniss are basically married?"

Gale's face reddened. "I-I-" He looked at Peeta and decided to say his feelings. "I HATE IT AND I WANT TO STRANGLE PEETA AND I WOULD BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO MAKE KATNISS UNHAPPY!" He stopped and took a deep breath.

"Peeta, what do you think of what Gale just said?"

"I WANT TO KILL HIM SINCE HE WANTS TO KILL ME!"

"Okay. Um, change of subject! What would you want to name your children?"

Gale looked at Peeta. "You have KIDS?!"

Peeta blushed and shrugged awkwardly. "Yeah..."

"WHAT?!"

Lilac yawned. "Please answer the question!"

"Um...Peeta Jr. and Katniss Jr.? I guess-ACK!"

Now, Gale was strangling Peeta in anger. "WHY YOU-!"

"Thank you for watching see you next time!" Lilac exclaimed quickly before calling for security.


	14. Joanna

Chapter 14- Joanna

**This chapter was suggested by Shadefire of Rainclan! :D Thanks for reviewing everyone, it really helps me update. ;)**

Joanna sat in a wooden chair. It had tree roots at the bottom and leaves on the top. She sighed with annoyance. This show was her least favorite and she never thought she would ever be on it. Ever.

"Welcome to-" Lilac began.

"Alright, alright, we get it. Now hurry up so I can get back to cutting down some more trees!" Joanna interrupted. Lilac clenched her fists.

"Okay then. Are the rumors true that you have a crush on Finnick?"

Joanna's gaze was steely. "Finnick's dead. I don't care for anyone."

"Um, then, who do you like?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Oh, right, you hate EVERYONE."

Joanna leapt out of her chair and broke through the wall and grabbed Lilac's collar. She pinned the host to the wall. "Say one more thing and I'll slit your throat." Joanna threatened.

* * *

In district 12...

Katniss smiled at what Joanna was doing. She was finally teaching the host a lesson.

* * *

"This...has been...another great episode of...Frustrating Interviews!" Lilac gasped before passing out from Joanna's choke.


	15. Snowy Snow gets eaten by a mutt

Chapter 15- President Snow

**FINALLY, THE CHAPTER FOR MY REVENGE! :D**

Lilac was glaring at her microphone. "Welcome mister president." She said with a scowl.

"Eh, thank you." Snow muttered. Lilac cleared her throat and asked her first question.

"So, you like killing kids?"

"You see-"

"OH YOU DO?!"

"I didn't-"

"You enjoy watching them die and in pain, right?"

"Um-"

"Well then, I have a surprise for you, Snowy." Suddenly Snow screamed as he fell through a trap door.

He was in a hunger games arena! Facing him was the most vicious mutt ever...

* * *

Katniss, Peeta, and even Gale shared a popcorn while laughing and pointing at President Snow, who was being beaten tot death by a mutt.

* * *

The episode had gotten the highest rating ever and the most views. It was the best one ever. Plus, Snow decided he would stop the games and unfairness so that he would never be tormented again.

Lilac said, "MWAHAHAHHAAHA! MY ULTIMATE REVENGE!"


End file.
